"I will prod, poke and disrespect you until you break, and when you do, it's your fault" - The Narcissist

Driving You To Insanity

If you have ever been or are currently a victim of narcissism, you have my deepest sympathy. These complex characters will drive you to insanity, almost tipping you over the edge. Once you understand this personality disorder, you see them for what they are: one word—pathetic. Then begins the healing from the years of fear, devastation, mental torture, gaslighting, and the havoc they reaped upon your life. We can feel so hopelessly let down that we learn to enjoy our own company the most. Perhaps that's the lesson all along.

Allow me to use this analogy: imagine a good-natured, contented dog sleeping happily next to the fire. Next, the narcissist decides they would like to pet the sleeping dog. Initially, the happy dog allows this for a little while, but after time, he starts feeling restless with the constant petting. The happy dog wants to sleep, so he makes a growl to warn the narcissist to stop—enough prodding now.

The petting and prodding continue, and the dog growls a bit louder as it continues. Finally, the dog snaps, quickly and sharply biting as his final warning; no harm done. The narcissist then creates huge drama, screaming, crying, acting like the victim, and blaming the dog. Next, the dog is labeled dangerous and aggressive, and the narcissist calls for the dog's destruction. The poor innocent dog has to be destroyed, deemed too much of a risk to people.

The above analogy is typical behavior of a narcissist towards their victims.

Behaviours

They will lie, cheat, say, and do anything to make themselves appear superior. If you confront their behavior, they create huge dramatics. Seriously, they make great actors and actresses. Once the narcissist knows you have seen through their facade, they will attempt to destroy your name and life. You are now in the way of their attempts to control, cheat, and manipulate.

We also see this behavior acting out from politicians and media. Watch how they will destroy a person's good name if they disagree with the narrative. Never attempt to appeal to the narcissist; they know exactly what they are doing. They feed off their power and control of you. Your feelings will be dismissed or you will be told you're dreaming it all up.

Your Light Is Their Energy Source

Attracting the empath, a person that loves to serve and please others. The empath without firm boundaries will easily fall prey to the narcissist's over-inflated ego and grandiose ideas of themselves.

How Can We Heal?

If we learn to shift our perspective, we can see that the narcissist is showing the empath to stand in core values and assert firm boundaries. There is no book out there that tells you how to let it all go. It's a process of time eventually healing.

Relationships are never the same again; your guard is up, holding parts of yourself back. You learned trust gets you hurt. The problem is that the damage caused is catastrophic. The healing journey takes many years of inner work.

All is not lost

What if I told you that once healed, you will have a new-found love and appreciation for life? It is hard to believe it when you are beginning your healing journey.

Things That Helped Me Heal:

  1. Learn about narcissistic personality disorder. Knowledge is power and part of taking control of your life back.
  2. Seek out others that can relate and listen to your experience. If you are in a dysfunctional family dynamic, abusive relationship, or work environment, choose somebody who is unassociated.
  3. Practice self-love and work on raising your value. You are worthy of relationships based on equal value and respect.
  4. Take up a creative hobby, do something that engages the brain in a fun, creative way.
  5. Exercise in nature, get outdoors, run in the rain, and do activities that connect you to the elements.
  6. Take control back of your life. Nobody knows you better than you.
  7. Trust that the people who are supposed to be with you on your life journey will be; those that don't respect your boundaries, bully, or belittle you must go.
  8. Family is not a get-out-of-jail-free card to abuse; it does not give anyone the carte blanche to run roughshod over you.
  9. Connect with your spiritual side, and engage in prayer and meditation. Trust that everything always works out for your highest good.
  10. Watch your life unfold as though you are watching a movie. There are sad, painful chapters but also good chapters too.
  11. Choose the company of others on your terms. Keep distance and allow others to earn your trust over time.
  12. Embrace your inner badass, and assert your boundaries when needed.
  13. Walk away from all drama; it won't move you forward.
  14. You only get one life; you deserve love, starting with loving yourself.

Freedom and Wholeness

I found freedom and wholeness on the other side of narcissistic scapegoat abuse. It taught me many life lessons and pushed me higher in my spirituality than I could ever have imagined. I found forgiveness in my heart for those who almost pushed me over the edge. I know they must carry the burden of their ways; it's not my spiritual path or concern.

To the person reading this, "You are perfect just as you are."

You Don't Need Validation