Welcome Smiley Blue readers to this week's thoughts on wisdom and communication—We explore when it is ok to speak up, when to stay silent, and how to delicately balance offering advice.

Understanding Our Reactions

"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." - Carl Jung

When is it appropriate to share your thoughts? This can be a delicate balance between crossing boundaries and taking ethical action. While we need to be mindful about imposing our views on others, there are times when speaking up becomes a moral imperative—particularly when we witness harm being done to others.

The Cost of Silence

"There is a time to keep silence and a time to speak." - Ecclesiastes 3:7

Sometimes, staying silent makes us complicit in harmful behaviours, whether in families, workplaces, or society. Bystander behaviour, where people just go along with harmful situations, enables destructive patterns and corrupt power constructs to continue. It takes genuine courage to stand up and say, "This isn't right" or to fully walk away from all situations and people that compromise your values and boundaries.

The Limits of Perspective

While sometimes speaking up is necessary, other times—especially when your advice hasn't been requested about personal or business matters—you might find that you've made incorrect assumptions based on your perspectives and views. Even when consulting friends for their opinions on the same individual, it doesn't necessarily reveal the true intentions of the person in question.

The Subjective Nature of Truth

Imagine a comedian telling a joke: some people will find it hilarious while others consider it in poor taste. It all comes down to your perspectives. Given this subjective nature of truth and perception, it becomes even more important to consider when and how we share our views.

The Wisdom of Restraint

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" - Matthew 7:3

"Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent." - Proverbs 17:28

I've always advocated for caution when it comes to interfering with others' paths, even as friends. Unless they have specifically asked for your guidance and honest opinion, be mindful of how you intend to offer it. Remember that your advice, even when informed by multiple different perspectives, is still just one viewpoint among many—not necessarily the whole picture.

Understanding Before Judgment

It's considered mature to see someone's viewpoint, even if you do disagree. You can then appreciate why they may think the way they do while recognising it as simply their perspective. This deeper understanding allows us to respond with greater wisdom and empathy, rather than just reacting to surface-level disagreements.

Constructive Support

Anyone pursuing a vision will naturally make many mistakes along the way. These perceived failures are vital parts of their learning process and journey. While providing "requested" advice and "constructive" criticism can be helpful, there's a way to deliver it without deflating the recipient's vision and spirit.

First, acknowledge their goals and what they're trying to achieve. Then, share constructive insights from your own experiences in ways that offer positive support. Ask yourself honestly what you can bring to the table to help move the project and vision forward, and if you can't, then say nothing. Remember criticism alone without constructive ways forward won't be received well.

Most importantly, remember that you might not have all the facts or be able to see the bigger picture yourself—you're only working with what's visible to you now.

"I never lose. I either win or learn." - Nelson Mandela

Supporting Growth

If someone hasn't yet found clarity in their path, assure them that's perfectly fine—they're exactly where they need to be. Your continued support and belief in them will matter to them far more than critiquing their path and vision. After all, it's always better to try and fail than never to try at all.

"Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better."- Samuel Beckett

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Lisa Precious is the founder of SmileyBlue a publication dedicated to helping people reach their full potential and discover the right path for their lives. Our content expands from conscious mentoring to emotional healing and in-depth discussions on how your mind and body are the most powerful assets in your life. Please feel free to contact her at contact@smileyblue.org