Will you ever get over, let go and heal from your past pain?
"You don’t overcome your past. You outgrow the version of you that stayed there." Lisa Precious
I rose this morning, went to feed my dog, made coffee and toast, and all of a sudden, a small surge of emotion welled up in me. A childhood memory of going to the shops with my Mum. She used to have one of those wicker baskets to put the groceries in. I loved the simplicity of life as a kid.
But this simple memory brought back a really happy moment —the Mum who, behind her own traumatised upbringing, would stand up for you as a little kid if you were being picked on, or bake you the birthday cake you wanted.
But these are the good memories that I sometimes recall, and the ones that also stir emotions.
In her later years, Mum became more and more toxic. The woman I'd once known had gone, replaced with a darkness that was never diagnosed. She refused to seek outside help, as was her hubris. She thought she would be the talk of the town if anyone found out that we weren’t the perfect family she so loved to portray.
I’m digressing.
Back to the question: Do we ever find the all-elusive “I’m healed now, I’ve let go?"
As years go by and months pass, I seldom give the past much thought or emotion. Yet, I’ve come to realise it’s not really about overcoming the past or letting go.
For me, it’s more about integrating the past into myself, using it to forge who I'm becoming, instead of overcoming each day.
I hear people say, “I should be over this by now,” or “I’m good now, I’m over it,” and then in the next breath, “I can’t believe I’m still crying over this.”
But remember—there is no over it. There is only through it, and sometimes that looks like over and over again.
You don’t have to banish and avoid your emotions. You don’t have to rush them out the door. You allow them. You let them rise and fall because when they do, they show you something, just how beautiful the depths of you reach.
Healing from trauma can lead us to leave and move on from toxic individuals- each one in a strange way serving us, handing us the key to the next level up. The door to freedom. The path to becoming more and more who you need to be.
Where we get stuck is in the attachment to the bond—the good bits—instead of remembering how our boundaries were trashed. How every deal-breaker in the book was broken, leaving us shattered into fragments of ourselves, desperately trying to piece together some meaning to all this pain. Meanwhile, they were blissfully unaware of the immense damage they’d caused—somehow even painting themselves as the victim.
But in a way, they are the ultimate victim.
Because with no sense of who they are, they have to dim your light. They use you as their energy source. To feel like someone.
They are the broken ones. Desperate, shattered souls trying to seek the light to climb out of the dark pit they’re in. And they chose you because you are bright and strong.
They will shatter your heart unawares. They will hate you because they hate themselves.
They look at you and see what they could be in the mirror, and they can’t stand the reflection.
So they shatter the mirror instead—with their words like swords and their actions that wound.
You have no choice but to disengage.
It’s the kindest, most compassionate thing you can do—for both yourself and for them.
Now, you’re left holding the energy.
You either use it to further your purpose, or let it define who you are for the rest of your life.
Scripture offers us many healing verses to meditate upon: “He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds” - Psalm 147:3
And so, we don’t need to dwell on the past, allowing it to define our future. Healing from trauma means that we can recall a happy or sad memory, and this will enable associated emotions to pass through us, but keep looking forward to the new version of ourselves we are becoming each day.
Relax and purify with this divinely guided emotional healing meditation.
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If you're feeling lost on life's path, unsure of your direction and exhausted by the constant search for meaning to your problems, my transformative coaching helps you find your way forward. I offer a unique coaching experience that combines intuitive energy reading with traditional coaching methods to help you. Take the first step and reach out to me for a free call.
Important: The information and services provided by Lisa Precious are not a substitute for medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing severe mental health issues or trauma, please consult with a licensed healthcare provider. Our work together is designed to complement, not replace, traditional therapeutic approaches by offering an energetic and spiritual perspective.
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